Thirty years ago, I was born in a small town in East Germany.
Growing up under communism circumstances, I'd always cherished community and simplicity.
We were blessed with a magical Forrest in the village I lived in. I also grew up enjoying proper home cooked food and produce from our very own garden and community.
I have many fond memories as a young child roaming through the gardens and causing mischief with my cousins.
Of course, there are also painful memories but I am in the process of revitalising those elsewhere and using them as fuel for growth and transformation.
My parents divorced when I was 12.
Needless to say, this caused an emotional hurricane, in my mentally confused adolescent brain.
During this time and until well into my mid twenties, I looked for validation and love in everything in my external environment.
I was not one, that would impress her parents with good marks and behaviour. In my heart I was a rebel, always searching for freedom. Freedom to choose what I felt like doing.
So, when I was given the chance, to study a language in a foreign country, I gravitated instantly towards the "most isolated city in the world"- Perth, Australia.
I knew in order to find myself, I had to get away from the people that had hopes for me to become someone. Now, I know that I never wanted to become anyone, other than myself.
Throughout my life, I always felt difficulty in making and keeping friends.
More or less because I became someone around them, that in reality I wasn't. I often would go out of my way, to please and satisfy another, which would cause resentment, abandonment and bitterness within myself later on.
In 2009, I became close to a very special man, whom I shared adventures in the great outdoors, thoughts on life and myself with.
He was the first person I could be myself around, because he himself can not be any different.
After a whirlwind start from close friendship into romance we found ourselves launched into parenthood.
In July 2012, I gave birth to my incredible mentor, friend and daughter. In that moment a new "me" was also born.
During pregnancy, birth and the early years of her life, I spent much time on my own.
I went through a painful process of realising that all the love and attention I looked for externally for many years, had to come from within.
This process, was very intense and throughout many occasions it caused the relationship with my partner almost to end.
Yet, we still come back to one another, knowing we have come into this life to support one another.
So here I am looking back, trying to take responsibility for all I am and what I have done. The time has come where I know in order to do my bit, to create a better world, I must start with myself.
I am hoping that through my journey, I can inspire others too, to follow the path guided by their own self. I am a big supporter and believer in autonomy.
So, now you know a bit about me- let's find out together who each of us are. Let us be born once again- this time the true essence of our purpose and Being on this planet.
Thank you for joining me on my journey.
Much love,
Carolin xxx